Donald Trump and his new wife, the beautiful model Melania, are settling into their new home in upstate New York. Trump's financial portfolio is in the toilet, so he starts looking over their household expenses with a fine tooth comb.
"I can't believe how much money we are spending," the former financial tycoon tells Melania.
"You know, if you could learn to cook, we could save a fortune on just the cook's salary."
Melania gives him a cold look. "Yeah, well if you could learn to make love to me properly and regularly, we wouldn't need the pool boy, the gardener, or the maid either!"