A man has just got a job as a bus conductor. He is finishing off his first day at work and is just waiting for an old lady to get off the bus so that he can return it to the main station and go home. The old lady is taking absolutely ages, slowly descending the steps one at a time. He starts getting really frustrated. He forces himself to wait and be patient a little longer. He waits. The old lady is still going down the steps. Finally he can wait no longer. He jumps out of his seat and pulls out a sword. He chops off the old ladies head and runs away. He is soon caught by the police.
He receives a trial and is sentenced to death by the electric chair. Once strapped into the chair the executioner asks him if he has any last requests.
"Yes," he replies. "I'd like a banana, please."
He receives his banana and eats it. He is then electrocuted for 1 minute at 1000 volts. Once the minute is over, he is still alive.
"Well," the executioner says. "You've served your sentence. I guess your free to go."
So he walks free and somehow manages to get his job as a bus conductor back. Not long after he is again waiting for slow people to get off. This time it is two old ladies. He eventually gets so impatient as they struggle down the steps that he pulls out a machine gun and blows them all away. He runs away but again, is caught by the police. This time he is sentenced to 10 minutes on the chair at 10000 volts. Once again, he requests a banana. He eats it and gets the chair, once again surviving.
The executioner says, "You've served your sentence. I guess your free to go."
Amazingly he gets his job back as a bus conductor. A few days later he is waiting for three old ladies to leave the bus. This time at an impossibly slow speed. He loses his patience and throws a few grenades at them, blowing them to bits. He runs away. Again he is caught and sentenced, this time for an hour on the chair at 100000 volts. Once again he requests a banana and eats it. He is given the sentence. Again he lives.
The executioner says, "What's your secret sir? How do you keep surviving? Is it the banana or something?"
The man replies, "No. It's not that. I'm just a bad conductor."