There once was a lady who was tired of living with men who were either physically abusive, who ran away from her, or who were horrible in bed. So she put an ad in the paper, that was asking for a man who: 1)would treat her nicely 2)wouldn't run away from her, 3)would be good in bed.
Three weeks passed, and there was no reply from any man. So she just figured that there wasn't a man alive who could live up to these expectations, so she just gave up.
But then, one day she heard the doorbell rang. She answered it, and there on the front porch was a man in a wheel chair who didn't have any arms or legs. The man said "I'm here about the ad you put in the paper. As you can see, I have no arms so I can't beat you, and I have no legs so I can't run away from you."
The woman replied, "Yes, but are you good in bed?" And the man said with a smirk on his face, "How do you think I rang the doorbell?"