In the days where tall, wooden ships sailed the high seas, (like a couple of hundred years ago, not earlier this week near the Statue of Liberty) there was this one ship sailing during a war. That morning, the lookout shouted, "enemy ship on the horizon." The captain, whose name was Captain Jack, said to his ensign, named Parker, "Get me my red shirt." The ensign, rather bewildered from this odd request, did as Captain Jack ordered. Though the battle was a long one, Captain Jack and his crew managed to fend off the enemy ship.
Later that day, the lookout, whose name was Skip, even though he was definitely not the "Skipper" of the ship, shouted, "two enemy ships on the horizon." As before, Captain Jack said to his ensign, "Get me my red shirt." And, as before, the ensign did as the Captain asked. The battle took the rest of the day to fight, and Captain Jack's men managed to defeat the two enemy ships.
That evening, the ensign asked Captain Jack, "Hey Captain Jack, Why, before every battle, do you ask for your red shirt." The Captain replied, "Well, if I am wounded in battle, the blood will not show and the crew will continue to fight." The crew was listening, and they were impressed. They had a brave captain, that's for sure.
The next morning, the lookout shouted, "Ten enemy ships on the horizon." The ensign looked at Captain Jack, waiting for the usual orders. The Captain said to his ensign, with a big toothy grin, "Ensign, get me my brown pants."