Do you know...................?

Where does an Irish family go on vacation? To a different bar.

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby? They named him Sum Ting Wong.

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say shit? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

Laughing stock - cattle with a sense of humour.

The things that come to those that wait, maybe the things left by those who got there first.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit on the bank drinking beer all day.

Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

The Irish recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.

When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.